The Inner Work is Worthy

I grew up in a family where being a hard worker was the most important quality to develop… didn’t matter what the work was, but obviously it had to earn you money and be accepted by mainstream society… well, this is all in my fathers eyes anyway… and in doing so, it did make me worthy of his love.

It has taken me a long time to unfurl from this strongly ingrained mentality. Certainly for the first ten years of my working life I upheld the most prized skill… working really hard. The more I stepped out of societal beliefes and into my own inner guidance, the less this mentality worked… I began to realise… hard work does not work. I was chasing my tail in my own business at a rapid pace, digging myself into the ground and giving away my vital life force energy. I felt my freedom being taken away and too, my peace.

Up until this point, I honestly thought that the more you worked the more money you earnt and therefore, the more worthy you were. The worthy part was quite illusive and hidden, but the money struggles were real. I soon realised, that my work was not to build an empire as my forefathers had done, but instead… build myself.

The more inner work I did, the more at peace I was with my situation… which I also realised I had little say in. It seemed that once I left my “hard working job” as a paramedic I somehow became bound to my soul path. Anything that I went out to do that was bound up in my own ego or insecurity, did not work… didn’t matter how many hours, days, weeks or months I poured into the business development side of things, nothing was working. My savings from all those years of working “over time” as a paramedic were almost dried up. I became incredibly humbled by the experience and began to really peel back the layers of conditioning, to see the world more clearly and, to see myself more clearly.

Eventually I came to realise that I was definitely under soul contract. I came to this Earth knowing that my greatest gift was not to work hard… it was bound in responsibility. My soul contract was written in the stars, and if it was actually written I think it would state something like this: “I vow to live my life by the lores of nature. I understand, that if I break the lore or stray from my soul path there will be consequence and immense struggle. I will be in humble service to humanity and support humanity to return to the lores of nature.”

Now, to become native again takes a huge amount of both deprograming and defraging. This is where the inner work is essential… without the inner work and transformaion, you can’t expect a change in your outer reality. Just like as a healer, without doing the inner healing (which is constant) you cannot support others in their healing.

The reason I wrote this article, is because I realised that whilst I have known all of this for quite a long time… I seemed to keep beating myself up about not being successful in business, particularly in terms of my reach and influence. Finally I seem to really embody it. I can see that my life is no longer delineated between work and play. It is both all work and all play. I am only just really acknowledging for myself that when I am taking a deep dive into process, I am also “working hard”. All that emotional terrain, the darkness and discomfort that comes up in process, it is hard work. Taking responsibility for how I feel and act in response to the world around me is hard work.

This hard work is needed now more than ever. It is becoming clear that the paradigm of working hard within the patriarchal and capitalist systems is damaging the very place we call home… Earth. We cannot expect others to change without doing this inner work. This inner work is now worth more than any money making business. You my dear friend are worthy, your inner work is an immense service to the planet as we face the dark underbelly of our man made systems. We can never defy the lores of nature, harm to other life forms is harm to ourself. Harm to ourself is harm to others. So be kind to yourself in these times, know that your service will bring life back to this Earth, as we collectively awaken into our native selves once more.